So, I was looking for ideas on topics or things that I could start writing about. I found lots of ideas and will definitely not be without a topic for many days to come. This topic, though, “My Life Thus Far”, I hadn’t seen anywhere. I guess it’s just me. I have always been able to express myself best in writing. Even way before the internet was born, my writing was always my only avenue of true expression. Odd for some of you I bet, but it’s me.

Anyway, so topic for today is my life thus far. I’m thinking this might be long because when I write about something close to me, my mind and fingers just work hand in hand and I just go.

I am 29 years old. In just a few months, I will officially be a true grown up. 30 years old. Boy is that a scary thought. I don’t feel like I’m reaching 30 but it is a very awakening realization that my life is likely already halfway lived if not close to it. So what has my life been like thus far? Many, many experiences.

Before starting to write I quickly thought about what life was like growing up, what it was like being a single mommy, what it’s been like being married with children, and so on. I grew up loved and filled with a loving environment. Both my parents were strict as shit, but I now know they only had my best interests in their minds and hearts. Unfortunately, I did not have the opportunity to completely grow into adulthood with both my parents at the same time. My mom and dad realized, after many years together, that they had different needs and wants. I was 11 years old when they separated. Of their three daughters, I was the only one who really understood that my world as I knew it was falling apart. But, thankfully, it didn’t turn out to be all that bad.

I think in growing up, it was my father who I always was good with. My mom, because of her struggles and fears, always seemed the evil one to me I guess. But now, she’s my second best friend. Everything she did for me and my sisters growing up, I now understand. The way I hated her at times was unreal, but now I understand everything. Of their three girls, I was also the only one who got to experience living with mom and then living with dad. When I met Junior and fell in love, I made a big decision to leave my mom and live with my dad. I saw him regularly up until that point, but dad was always harder, stricter, and more traditional than mom. I was scared to move in with my dad, but nothing was going to stop me from being with Jun. Just thinking about it now. I was willing to sacrifice even then to put my love for my husband first.

Then me and Jun had Jaymes when we were still Juniors in high school. That was an experience in and of itself. Being pregnant in high school at a time when it was almost unheard of. I definitely embarrassed my parents and family, but we all made it through. From that point until even now, sacrifice has been my middle name. I don’t know if it is just me or what, but I would and am willing to sacrifice everything for the people that I love. I will give up my pleasures and happiness if it meant I could make my family happier.

Sacrifice. That is what my life has been thus far. Perhaps it is because I want the story book ending, kinda like the movie the Notebook. All the sacrifice, all the hurt, all the struggle…..in the end, it was all worth it. I believe that I am living my life so that on my dying bed, I will be able to have the final thoughts of my life be filled with memories of my family being happy. I will have made a difference, I will have provided a good childhood, I will have been a good wife, I will have made my parents proud, I will have succeeded in living a full life.

In looking back at my life thus far, I think there might have been some things here and there that I did or handled differently, but I still wouldn’t change a thing. Everything for a reason. Every sacrifice. Every hurt, whether mentally or physically or emotionally. Every once-in-a-lifetime moment……all worth it to bring me to the life I am blessed with today and hopefully, for many more days to come. My life thus far…..hmmmmm……my life thus far. I’ve had a good life thus far with many lessons learned, many blessings, many obstacles, many more to come.

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Living. Laughing. Learning. Loving.

A really good website. I’ve gotten a few programs since I’ve started checking the site out. These are programs that normally you would have to pay for a license but for a span of one day, the website will give it to you for free. Really cool. Lots of times it is just a screensaver or something insignificant but just as often are very nice programs that run well. I’d definitely recommend making it one of your sites to check out every day.

In other news….haha…like I’m a reporter right? hehe. But yea, in other news, all is good. Jun has been finding some real nice stuff over there and buying little by little. I should be getting a box from him soon so I’ll take pictures of some of the stuff I get. I saw them on camera and they are all really cool.

Hope everyone is doing well. Keep my husband in your prayers please?

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Living. Laughing. Learning. Loving.

The truth that many people never understand, until its too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt. – Thomas Merton

Jun actually found this one. We got into a little discussion about it, about like what it is trying to say or what it means or how we are supposed to read it. I love those kind of talks. Anyways, here’s pretty much what we got out of it.

We often realize too late that when we stuff the negative emotions inside of us and don’t deal with our problems or our roadblocks, the emotions don’t just go away. It builds up and builds up inside us and any little instance…an argument, something happening that reminds us, any little seemingly unimportant event…it can end up that we hurt ourselves because we did not yet deal with the initial problem. Haha. Did I translate that to make it easier or did I just make it harder? Hehe.

Maybe, to put it very simply….a problem does not go away just because we ignore the problem. It must be fixed or the problem will keep coming back. How’s that?

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Living. Laughing. Learning. Loving.

So I watched the Departed last night. God, what a wicked ass movie. It was good….real good, but wicked and such an unexpected ending. Me and Jaymes were watching it. Not many movies catch Jaymes but I guess this one did cause he sat there and watched and you could just tell. So we’ve been buying a lot of movies lately from the on-post video store. They’ll have movies, that were released just the previous week, on sale for 5 bucks. We’ve gotten a lot already in just a few weeks. I mean A LOT. My husband will be proud of me when he comes home and sees how much his collection has grown, and with good movies at that!

So, what’s the topic for this post? The Departed movie right? Well, how about just movies in general. What’s your favorite? I would have to say my favorite is still the Notebook and We Were Soldiers. Both are so close to home, it’s almost ridiculous. One movie I just thought of (by the way I started this sentence way later in the day) that I like watching is Boondock Saints. Old time favorite that we both like. Gotta cut this short cause it’s late now.

What movies would you recommend?

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Living. Laughing. Learning. Loving.