Dylen and Chae got their report cards yesterday. They both did really good once again. Dylen’s teacher is pretty cool and I think a great teacher. He also happens to like taking pictures of the activities that the kids do. Then he’s real proficient with the computer so he makes a video slideshow kinda thing. Pretty cool. So I gave him a CD yesterday to burn all the pics and slideshows he’s made throughout the year because I told him Dylen’s dad would love to see pictures of Dylen in the school environment and not just at home.

I feel like a lot of changes are coming up. I don’t even know what I’m talking about specifically. I just have this feeling that some minor and maybe even a major change or two is going to happen soon. It is truly a very weird feeling. I have no clue what kind of changes I’m even talking about. That’s what is so weird about it. I just have this feeling. It’s not a good feeling like there’s gonna be good changes, nor is it a bad feeling like there’s gonna be bad changes…..just changes. We’ll see how it goes. Who knows, maybe the change is like I’m gonna rearrange some furniture in my house. Haha. I’m laughing at myself because how weird is it to have this kind of vague but strong feeling? Hehe.

Anyways, I’m at work, gotta get this flight out so I’ll write later. My love to all and especially to my loving and handsome and wonderful husband. I love you my baby.

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Living. Laughing. Learning. Loving.

What is the true measure of a man? Well, here’s some that I’ve found that I’ll share with you and then give you my own definition and understanding of what entails the true, honest to goodness measure of a man…..

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. – Samuel Johnson
The true measure of a man is the degree to which he has managed to subjugate his ego.” – Albert Einstein
The true measure of a man is what he would do if he knew he would never be caught. – Lord Kelvin
To take the true measure of a man, they say, watch not what he says but what he does. – Rebecca Hagelin
The true measure of a man is how he handles victory and how he handles defeat. – Unknown

So many different explanations, viewpoints, definitions of what entails the true measure of a man. I agree with each and every one of those definitions I listed. But, I have more to add that I think defines a a man’s true measure. The true measure of a man can be found in the everyday setting. Does he surround himself with his wife and children? Does he find his greatest pleasures with his family by his side? Does he take a break from the daily “guy” routines and show a lighter side of himself?

I really liked the definition that says watch not what he says but what he does. Any man can claim love, honor, loyalty, devotion. Any man can claim to be a child’s father. Any man can take on a leader’s position. However, it takes only a man of true measure to display in his behavior, his actions and reactions, his everyday self…to be able to truly love and spend time with his children, to be able to make his wife feel like the only woman, or the only woman of importance in a crowded room, to be able to work hard alongside others who find no satisfaction in a hard day’s work. A man in love with his wife and/or children cannot hide his love in his actions. A man who honors his father and mother and others important to him cannot live a day in his life without endorsing their lessons given in his every movement. A man who is loyal and kind cannot go a day without thanking the good Lord and those around him for blessing him with all he has. Finally, a man who is devoted, whether to his family, his work, a good cause…he cannot go a day without defining and displaying the behaviors inherently found in a moral and ethical person.

I have thankfully and gratefully and graciously been blessed with quite a few men in my lifetime who have filled this “measure” of what a man is. My husband, my father, a few of my uncles, a few of my cousins, Jun and I’s best friend, so many men who live and work and breathe goodness. Still, only my husband has shown me his true measure that perhaps no one else in this world has had the opportunity to see. I love you my love. You make me so proud in every day, in every moment that I am blessed to be and live as your wife. There are no words to convey the thoughts and feelings that pour out of me for you. You are the greatest definition of a measure of a man. And I am so proud, so honored, so blessed to be able to call you MY MAN.

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Living. Laughing. Learning. Loving.

So, I had a strong feeling that Jun would have gotten selected this year for SFC, but thanks to some screwed up people, that won’t be happening. Ironically, those same screwed up people wanted him to be on top of things and make sure he doesn’t screw another soldier with the same thing. Stupid asses. So, my husband didn’t make the list. I really had a strong feeling this year that he would have gotten selected.

Still, as Jun and I have talked about, there is a reason for everything that happens the way it happens and when it happens. Perhaps this is God’s way of keeping him in a safe place, perhaps he would have found danger if he got the rank. I don’t know. I’m not questioning it.

SFC is a big responsibility and huge position to take on. Jun’s been well prepared for the job and I believe he is ready and can do it without hesitation. He’s had to fill that kind of responsibility for a long time now and it’s just sad that he has virtually nothing to show for it. Oh well. He and I both know, and many other soldiers know, that he is a good leader.

K, that’s my short update for today. The list just came out so I had it in my mind. Til tomorrow…..

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Living. Laughing. Learning. Loving.

So, I was looking for ideas on topics or things that I could start writing about. I found lots of ideas and will definitely not be without a topic for many days to come. This topic, though, “My Life Thus Far”, I hadn’t seen anywhere. I guess it’s just me. I have always been able to express myself best in writing. Even way before the internet was born, my writing was always my only avenue of true expression. Odd for some of you I bet, but it’s me.

Anyway, so topic for today is my life thus far. I’m thinking this might be long because when I write about something close to me, my mind and fingers just work hand in hand and I just go.

I am 29 years old. In just a few months, I will officially be a true grown up. 30 years old. Boy is that a scary thought. I don’t feel like I’m reaching 30 but it is a very awakening realization that my life is likely already halfway lived if not close to it. So what has my life been like thus far? Many, many experiences.

Before starting to write I quickly thought about what life was like growing up, what it was like being a single mommy, what it’s been like being married with children, and so on. I grew up loved and filled with a loving environment. Both my parents were strict as shit, but I now know they only had my best interests in their minds and hearts. Unfortunately, I did not have the opportunity to completely grow into adulthood with both my parents at the same time. My mom and dad realized, after many years together, that they had different needs and wants. I was 11 years old when they separated. Of their three daughters, I was the only one who really understood that my world as I knew it was falling apart. But, thankfully, it didn’t turn out to be all that bad.

I think in growing up, it was my father who I always was good with. My mom, because of her struggles and fears, always seemed the evil one to me I guess. But now, she’s my second best friend. Everything she did for me and my sisters growing up, I now understand. The way I hated her at times was unreal, but now I understand everything. Of their three girls, I was also the only one who got to experience living with mom and then living with dad. When I met Junior and fell in love, I made a big decision to leave my mom and live with my dad. I saw him regularly up until that point, but dad was always harder, stricter, and more traditional than mom. I was scared to move in with my dad, but nothing was going to stop me from being with Jun. Just thinking about it now. I was willing to sacrifice even then to put my love for my husband first.

Then me and Jun had Jaymes when we were still Juniors in high school. That was an experience in and of itself. Being pregnant in high school at a time when it was almost unheard of. I definitely embarrassed my parents and family, but we all made it through. From that point until even now, sacrifice has been my middle name. I don’t know if it is just me or what, but I would and am willing to sacrifice everything for the people that I love. I will give up my pleasures and happiness if it meant I could make my family happier.

Sacrifice. That is what my life has been thus far. Perhaps it is because I want the story book ending, kinda like the movie the Notebook. All the sacrifice, all the hurt, all the struggle…..in the end, it was all worth it. I believe that I am living my life so that on my dying bed, I will be able to have the final thoughts of my life be filled with memories of my family being happy. I will have made a difference, I will have provided a good childhood, I will have been a good wife, I will have made my parents proud, I will have succeeded in living a full life.

In looking back at my life thus far, I think there might have been some things here and there that I did or handled differently, but I still wouldn’t change a thing. Everything for a reason. Every sacrifice. Every hurt, whether mentally or physically or emotionally. Every once-in-a-lifetime moment……all worth it to bring me to the life I am blessed with today and hopefully, for many more days to come. My life thus far…..hmmmmm……my life thus far. I’ve had a good life thus far with many lessons learned, many blessings, many obstacles, many more to come.

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Living. Laughing. Learning. Loving.